It’s been a while since I’ve had some solid inspiration for writing over here, but I ran across a website today that I just had to point out. How do you ride the coattails of Web 2.0 without any new technology? Hire a copywriter of course! Let’s delve into this awesomely Web two point oh company, Infragistics.

First, let’s start off at their home page. They’ve got a nice promotional header that cycles through a few benefits of their technology. Here’s some benefits of AJAX:

• Save Time
• Increase performance
• Empower your users
• Leverage a rich toolset

Hot damn! I’m feeling empowered already! Wait, they do charting too? Let’s take a look at the benefits of charting:

• Create compelling experiences
• Increase performance
• Empower your users
• Leverage a rich toolset

That’s odd. It’s almost like I read that somewhere else. Oh well, moving on, let’s take a look at one of their products, NetAdvantage for ASP.NET Navigation. Look Ma! More AJAX:

AJAX Load on Demand – Let WebTree load nodes on demand using AJAX without doing server round-trips

Oh sweet! My current navigation (which loads with the page, on one request) was complaining just today about the round-trips it had to make to the server. This way, we’re reducing requests from one to two. Wait a second, how does that make sense? Who cares, it’s AJAX anyways! Let’s check out the features :

AJAX in WebTree
Data for web navigation child nodes can be sent on demand to reduce traffic over the wire and increase. This includes automatic AJAX in CLR 2.x and load on demand with a postback in the CLR 1.x version of the WebTree.

Alright, I’m sold. I don’t even understand half that copy! It must be too Web 2.0 for me.

The Reality

The sad reality of this company is that their code-base is terribly Web 1.0. Hell, they’ve even got support for Internet Explorer 4.0 yet don’t support any Gecko (Mozilla) browsers for half their effects (or, Internet Explorer effects, as they’re known in the Copyjax industry). Worst of all, they don’t support WebKit/KHTML (Safari) browsers at all.

But who cares when your copy can overcome people’s perceptions despite glaring misinformation? In most cases, clients don’t know the difference between AJAX and their morning cereal. Writing has the power to manipulate how people perceive the truth, and this is a magnificent example of manipulation.

Understanding your material

So, what can you take from this embarrassment to copywriting around the world? Understand your material. Don’t write about products that you haven’t used or don’t understand — take the time to really know what you’re talking about. Part of copywriting is having the technical understanding to generate informed copy about the product you’re promoting.

When you lack the technical understanding, your copy fails the very people it should be targeting — those who will be using the product. Take this as a final piece of advice: If your audience is more knowledgeable about your product than you are, you shouldn’t be writing about it.

Merging brands is a tricky business. Recently AT&T and SBC announced that they’ll be joining forces as at&t. This kind of merger is bound to cause anxiety in customers, and only complicates things given the size of AT&T and SBC. I mean, do they really need to be any bigger?

This challenge is left to the agencies: How do you tell your customers that everything is going to be all right? You send them a friendly green postcard with their bill:

You’ve trusted us in the past. We’re going to amaze you in the future.

At SBC we’ve always worked hard to earn your trust, to come through whenever you’ve needed us. Now that we’ve brought in the global resources of AT&T, we’ll be there more than ever. We’re creating the most complete and secure network to deliver what matters in your world along with the products and services you need to make the most of it. Introducing the new AT&T. Powered by SBC.

There are a number of reasons I don’t like this copy, but to start off with: it’s not specific at all. I mean, imagine you didn’t know about the merger (entirely possible to average Joe public). So you get this green piece of paper in the letter with your mail, but what the heck does it mean?

Let’s put the facts together from the letter itself:

• SBC has acquired AT&T’s resources
• We’re going to amaze you with “what matters in your world”
• Introducing the new AT&T
• Powered by SBC?

I know that some copywriter probably slaved over this piece for days, maybe weeks. But the simple fact is: I don’t like it. It’s not the specific words, but the direction. The vague, “we’ll solve your problems” and the confusing mixing of SBC, AT&T and at&t in the copy and marks on the page. It sounds very corporate, very cold, very distant. In fact, if anything it makes me worry. If they are busy “amazing me” (let’s face it–my phone company isn’t going to amaze me) and gobbling up companies, do they really care what matters to me? If they do, what is it and how are they delivering what matters most to me?

More importantly, the piece never says AT&T and SBC are merging. The copy leaves you wondering. Something is surely happening with SBC & AT&T, but what exactly? Is AT&T joining as a contracting partner? I think a simple graphic of the SBC logo, a plus sign, the old AT&T logo, an equal’s sign and the new at&t logo would have done wonders. It would have made the average Joe go “Ohhh.. I get it now.” Instead they’ll probably throw the card away wondering what kind of new drugs their phone company is on this month.

A comparison

Another, albeit much smaller, merger recently has been the TextDrive & Joyent merger. I’ve always loved TextDrive because of the human aspect of their brand, and it shows through their announcement. Here’s snippet:

TextDrive has merged with Joyent, Inc., and it’s good news for all concerned. We’re tickled pink, and I’ll explain why.

…

What’s changing at TextDrive? Nothing, really: we’ll continue strong with shared hosting, and now also ramp up our dedicated and business hosting lines. Other than getting more disk space and bandwidth, current customers can expect things to be just as before, with all the improvements we’ve been discussing proceeding as planned. VC lifetime accounts will of course continue to be honoured, because TextDrive is still TextDrive.

That’s what I love. Tight explanation: TextDrive is merging with Joyent. None of this brining in resources, powered by or otherwise affiliated with. They lay it out: what’s changing, how will you be effected, and will the company be transforming into an evil monster. At a glance this copy serves its point while exciting customers. The at&t copy, not so much.

So, I’ll leave this one up to my (3) readers out there: which one do you feel more connected to? Do you like the promise-the-world copy of at&t? Or the down-to-earth copy of TextDrive?