First, let’s start off at their home page. They’ve got a nice promotional header that cycles through a few benefits of their technology. Here’s some benefits of AJAX:

• Save Time
• Increase performance
• Empower your users
• Leverage a rich toolset

Hot damn! I’m feeling empowered already! Wait, they do charting too? Let’s take a look at the benefits of charting:

• Create compelling experiences
• Increase performance
• Empower your users
• Leverage a rich toolset

That’s odd. It’s almost like I read that somewhere else. Oh well, moving on, let’s take a look at one of their products, NetAdvantage for ASP.NET Navigation. Look Ma! More AJAX:

AJAX Load on Demand – Let WebTree load nodes on demand using AJAX without doing server round-trips

Oh sweet! My current navigation (which loads with the page, on one request) was complaining just today about the round-trips it had to make to the server. This way, we’re reducing requests from one to two. Wait a second, how does that make sense? Who cares, it’s AJAX anyways! Let’s check out the features :

AJAX in WebTree
Data for web navigation child nodes can be sent on demand to reduce traffic over the wire and increase. This includes automatic AJAX in CLR 2.x and load on demand with a postback in the CLR 1.x version of the WebTree.

Alright, I’m sold. I don’t even understand half that copy! It must be too Web 2.0 for me.

The Reality

The sad reality of this company is that their code-base is terribly Web 1.0. Hell, they’ve even got support for Internet Explorer 4.0 yet don’t support any Gecko (Mozilla) browsers for half their effects (or, Internet Explorer effects, as they’re known in the Copyjax industry). Worst of all, they don’t support WebKit/KHTML (Safari) browsers at all.

But who cares when your copy can overcome people’s perceptions despite glaring misinformation? In most cases, clients don’t know the difference between AJAX and their morning cereal. Writing has the power to manipulate how people perceive the truth, and this is a magnificent example of manipulation.

Understanding your material

So, what can you take from this embarrassment to copywriting around the world? Understand your material. Don’t write about products that you haven’t used or don’t understand — take the time to really know what you’re talking about. Part of copywriting is having the technical understanding to generate informed copy about the product you’re promoting.

When you lack the technical understanding, your copy fails the very people it should be targeting — those who will be using the product. Take this as a final piece of advice: If your audience is more knowledgeable about your product than you are, you shouldn’t be writing about it.

Content is King, treat it that way

Copywriting should be a generous portion of any project. My opinion is that every project should have at least one full-time resource dedicated towards copywriting. It’s fine to have several people from different department form drafts of copy for the website - everything should be run through one person that knows your brand.

The goal is to create a body of copy that is consistent, entertaining, and professional. When you have dozens of pages of content, it’s important to keep the writing top-notch. If you want your visitors to read even a tenth of your content, you’ve got to give them a reason to read it. Make the copy addictive. One of the greatest examples of addictive writing was the original 37 Signals manifesto.

Unfortunately, I can’t think of a single corporate website that meets these standards. I know exactly why, too. I’ve been on the production side of dozens of projects, and every one comes together exactly the same. The internet marketing manager puts out a request to various departments in the company to put together a set number of pages defined in the IA phase of a redesign. Once each department receives this request they throw it at the person with the most available time - usually a junior employee with little to no writing experience. The final result is a mishmash of overly technical writing that’s just flat out boring. The copy is ridden with grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. It’s not consistent, it’s boring, and it makes the reader lose interest before they’ve finished the first page. The copy sucks.

Copywriting is interface design

Going beyond paragraphs of text on the page, copywriting is interface design. The boys over at 37 Signals have put it eloquently in one of their getting real articles published almost a year ago:

Do you label a button “Submit” or “Save” or “Update” or “New” or “Create” ? That’s copywriting. Do you write 3 sentences or 5? Do you explain with general examples or with details? Do you label content “New” or “Updated” or “Recently Updated” or “Modified” ? Is it “There are new messages: 5” or “There are 5 new messages” or is it “5” or “five” or “messages” or “posts “? All of this matters.

They’re right. Details matter, and choices that a CEO may deem inconsequential can make a big difference in the user experience.

Copywriting is your brand

Beyond design, copywriting is your brand. Every sentence, every word, every punctuation mark. Does your brand speak in long sentences, short sentences, or bullet points? Let’s take a look at some of the most consistent writing on the web - Apple. Here’s an excerpt from their Macbook Pro page:

Powered by a dual-core Intel engine. Up to five times the speed of the PowerBook G4. Eight times the graphics bandwidth. With built-in iSight for instant video conferencing on the move. Front Row with Apple Remote to dazzle everyone in the room. Now available in 15- and 17-inch models starting at just $1999.

Notice the sentence structure and flow of the words. There is no mention of “the machine” or “the notebook.” Features are simply written. The words are as simple as possible, and each proprietary term (such as iSight and Front Row) is immediately followed with a commonplace example usage to give readers a frame of reference. In fact, the writing just feels clean. Apple is clean. Apple’s writing is clean.

Beware non-descriptive titles

The title of your copy is the foundation to the entire piece of writing. Try to steer away from titles that sacrifice semantics for humor. Many people will not even read copy with headlines that they don’t understand. This is a shame, because while your post may be titled “Dancing with Monkeys” your copy may be about something they would otherwise be passionate about — like inter-office relationships.

Keep the word-count down

Copy on the web is rarely read its entirety, so you must be cautious to limit your words. The less words you write, the less words readers will skip — resulting in increased comprehension of your intended thoughts. Be careful to limit your superfluous banter to a minimum, and delete sentences that are non essential. Every non-essential word you add is one more word that contributes towards confusion.

Tighten up those paragraphs

Nothing hurts comprehension more than a page full of solid text. Break up your copy into smaller paragraphs with descriptive headlines. If possible, use bulleted lists to convey your point rather than lengthy descriptions.

If you absolutely require long blocks of text, try and keep them towards the beginning and the end of your copy. Readers naturally gravitate towards these areas and are more patient with longer blocks of information here.

Have someone proof-read your writing

If you’re still questioning the clarity of your copy, there’s one simple solution: have someone else read it. Take note where they stop and ask “what does this mean?” and push them to tell you what doesn’t make sense. In the end, it’s always easier to have a friend’s opinion than to guess what your readers might think.

The ones I liked

Degree’s Stunt City

Although I’ve seen this ad before, I still love it. It completely portrays the brand, and is an impressive piece as a whole. I think what makes this spot is how unbelievable everything is… yet so well choreographed. It just feels like about 20 Jackie Chan’s running around in a city. Love it.

Budweiser’s “Secret Fridge”

I absolutely loved this spot–probably because I’m dead on their intended audience (21 year old males). It’s something our age group can completely relate to: those potheads next door that’ll do anything for some beer, and completely willing to believe anything for it… even a magic fridge.

Budweiser’s “The Wave”

Love it. Excellent direction, excellent idea, excellent execution.

Bud Light’s “On the Roof”

Once again, perfect execution for the target audience. While I’m not a middle aged guy looking for a low-calorie brew, trying to escape the old ball and chain, I still think it’s great.

Emerald Nuts

The geek in me can’t help but love these ads. They’re clever, they’re short, and they literally spell out the product. Perfect combination of product and humor.

The one’s I’m impartial to

FedEx’s “Stick”

I want to like this ad. The spot is entertaining, it’s funny, but damned if it doesn’t feel like a copy of the Geico caveman commercials. Great idea, but someone else already came up with it. Not for me.

Burger King’s “Whopperettes”

I like the general concept of this ad, but I think the overall execution failed somewhere in the direction of the spot. It just doesn’t click.

The ones that completely failed to me

Dove’s “Campaign for Real Beauty”

Ahem Can someone say proof your spot before you show it on millions of TV’s? I couldn’t read the text during the game (white on white is not a good combination) and I still can’t read it on the compressed version. Not everyone has a ginormous HD TV at home, and I’m willing to bet a great deal of their audience couldn’t read what was going on.

Pizza Hut’s “Sex”

Here’s some sex, do you like sex? I sure do. Oh by the way, Pizza is good with sex.

Cadillac’s “Escalade”

Apparently the new car is so crappy, they can’t show it for longer than three seconds. Instead they showed us 25 seconds of randomness, followed by no information about the product at all.

Hummer’s “Monster”

Again with the random scenes of things completely unrelated to the product. Half machine half monster? Sorry, not buying it. This ad made me lose respect for the once rugged Hummer brand.

Gillette’s Fusion ad

Are you kidding me? Here’s 29 seconds of completely unrelated material, followed by a vibrating machete that’s bound to slice off your face. Come up with something that at least slightly relates to the brand.

Summary

So, overall I think the major problem with the ads was the lack of creativity. Ads aren’t out there just to look “cool” like the Fusion ad, but they need to sell the brand and the product. Year after year, Budweiser hits the nail on the head. They definitely came out the winner this year–as they have in years past.

An interesting side note to all of this, I think nearly every single ad this year was pushing a web site. No, nothing spectacular, but it goes to show how much the web has been integrated into our lives. No longer to ads just make you want to drink Pepsi, but they want to you to go to brownandbubbly.com and learn more about the brand and the campaign.

This challenge is left to the agencies: How do you tell your customers that everything is going to be all right? You send them a friendly green postcard with their bill:

You’ve trusted us in the past. We’re going to amaze you in the future.

At SBC we’ve always worked hard to earn your trust, to come through whenever you’ve needed us. Now that we’ve brought in the global resources of AT&T, we’ll be there more than ever. We’re creating the most complete and secure network to deliver what matters in your world along with the products and services you need to make the most of it. Introducing the new AT&T. Powered by SBC.

There are a number of reasons I don’t like this copy, but to start off with: it’s not specific at all. I mean, imagine you didn’t know about the merger (entirely possible to average Joe public). So you get this green piece of paper in the letter with your mail, but what the heck does it mean?

Let’s put the facts together from the letter itself:

• SBC has acquired AT&T’s resources
• We’re going to amaze you with “what matters in your world”
• Introducing the new AT&T
• Powered by SBC?

I know that some copywriter probably slaved over this piece for days, maybe weeks. But the simple fact is: I don’t like it. It’s not the specific words, but the direction. The vague, “we’ll solve your problems” and the confusing mixing of SBC, AT&T and at&t in the copy and marks on the page. It sounds very corporate, very cold, very distant. In fact, if anything it makes me worry. If they are busy “amazing me” (let’s face it–my phone company isn’t going to amaze me) and gobbling up companies, do they really care what matters to me? If they do, what is it and how are they delivering what matters most to me?

More importantly, the piece never says AT&T and SBC are merging. The copy leaves you wondering. Something is surely happening with SBC & AT&T, but what exactly? Is AT&T joining as a contracting partner? I think a simple graphic of the SBC logo, a plus sign, the old AT&T logo, an equal’s sign and the new at&t logo would have done wonders. It would have made the average Joe go “Ohhh.. I get it now.” Instead they’ll probably throw the card away wondering what kind of new drugs their phone company is on this month.

A comparison

Another, albeit much smaller, merger recently has been the TextDrive & Joyent merger. I’ve always loved TextDrive because of the human aspect of their brand, and it shows through their announcement. Here’s snippet:

TextDrive has merged with Joyent, Inc., and it’s good news for all concerned. We’re tickled pink, and I’ll explain why.

…

What’s changing at TextDrive? Nothing, really: we’ll continue strong with shared hosting, and now also ramp up our dedicated and business hosting lines. Other than getting more disk space and bandwidth, current customers can expect things to be just as before, with all the improvements we’ve been discussing proceeding as planned. VC lifetime accounts will of course continue to be honoured, because TextDrive is still TextDrive.

That’s what I love. Tight explanation: TextDrive is merging with Joyent. None of this brining in resources, powered by or otherwise affiliated with. They lay it out: what’s changing, how will you be effected, and will the company be transforming into an evil monster. At a glance this copy serves its point while exciting customers. The at&t copy, not so much.

So, I’ll leave this one up to my (3) readers out there: which one do you feel more connected to? Do you like the promise-the-world copy of at&t? Or the down-to-earth copy of TextDrive?

Words that sell best are written by those who truely believe in what they’re selling. Next time you sit down to pound out some copy, think about what you’re selling. Do you really think this widget is going to help the customer? I mean, would you use it? If you don’t believe in what you’re selling, your words are guarenteed to gather into an uninspiring weak mass of copy. Believe in your product.

Take the initiative. Research the widgets you’re writing about. Think about how you’d like to use the widget. Why do you believe in it? What makes it special? Once you find the reason you believe in your cause, run with it. Let the copy write itself; don’t struggle trying to match up the features and the benefits–just write. Let opinions bleed onto the page. You can clean up the mess later–for now get that passion down on the page.

You’ll hear me refer back to selling your words over and over again, because that’s what copy is all about. Let this serve as a reminder that you can’t truely sell something unless you believe in it.

Content is King! King I tell you!

Yet rarely do they execute on their proclamations. It’s sad for me to see this, because they all seem to know what they should be doing, but rarely do they actually do what they should be doing.

The web is a unique place

Many people think that writing for the web is just like writing for print, but they’re wrong. A web site has a whole lot less time to prove itself than a piece of printed copy does. Most of the time when someone is browsing the web, they are surrounded by a circus of distractions.

Just think about it: you’re sitting on the computer researching Home Audio systems. Meanwhile, you may be casually chatting with a few friends via Instant Messenger. Of course, you’ve got dinner in the oven and the TV’s on as well. Every few minutes you take a break from the computer and watch Battlestar Galactica from your TiVo. So, you finally find time to search for home audio equipment on Google, and lo and behold, there’s around 45 million results. You click on the first result and are immediately assaulted with ads. Your eyes can’t focus on any content you actually want, let alone any copy explaining just what this site is. So, you click the back button and try the next result.

The bottom line is: You can’t assume print copywriting principles will transfer directly to the web. You have to take into account the landscape your copy will be resting in. It’s a lot easier to click the back button than it is to throw away a magazine.

Spelling, grammar, what?

This is an all too common mistake I find on the web. Web sites, even professional ones, are riddled with simple spelling and gramatical mistakes. If there’s anything to ruin credibility–it’s misspelling simple words like “the” four times on the home page. Any webmasters out there looking for a quick way to improve bounce rates and stickyness–this is it. Run your site through a spell checker and grammar checker, like Microsoft Word. Chances are you’ll find a great deal of mistakes that are easily corrected.

I’m falling asleep over here

Which brings me to my next point: most copy on the web is boring. The web is littered with simple little phrases, dull paragraphs and words that make me feel like I’m back in High School struggling to stay awake during 7am class. I guess someone missed the memo about it being alright to be a little bit daring with your copy. It might even be okay to drop in a little bit of humor now and then. Who’da thought.

It’s not all that bad

No! It’s not. There has been a great revolution going on in the web recently and a lot of it has been simplifying web sites. Improving copy. Companies like Apple and 37Signals are doing it right. I think as more companies’s websites fail in the coming years they will learn to spend the extra few pennies (relatively) to hire a decent copywriter to go over their site.

I think the copywriting revolution is coming. If you ever wondered if the time was right for copywriters—it definitely is. I can see copywriting bursting in demand in the coming year. Here’s to the year of the copywriter!

Goddamnit Anderson! I need that copy on my desk by 5pm or you’re out!

You’d suspect the previous line to come out of some kind of newspaper editor in a cheesy B-movie while sitting behind a giant desk full of paper. But seriously, what the hell is copy? Maybe copywriting is that thing where you own the material? No, no no–that’s copyrighting. We’re talking about writing copy.

Copy is like text. Except it sells something. But you must remember that selling isn’t a concrete term. While many times copy is used to sell things like liquid dish detergent, it can also sell things like opinions. Selling someone on the idea that God exists, for example. So, copywriting is writing words that sell.